“Get a grip!”

Posted: March 27, 2013 in Uncategorized

It’s funny how you can help someone countless times but all of the sudden they turn on you without the thought that one might be under great pressure and stress. They would rather jump into conclusion and show no sympathy or compassion towards the person.

They prefer to emulate the crowd back in the days shouting “Crucify him, crucify him”, “He helped others, let him help himself”.

I’m not here to cast the first stone but rather to express my deep sorrow because I’m being persecuted for having a bad day, apparently it is wrong to have a bad day, complaining or “losing grip”, apparently if one were to complain or to lose grip, it is punishable by condescension, the cold shoulder and along that lines.

I wish there were more Veronicas and Simons in this world to help people carry the crosses of this world. People today in my opinion, label people as “weak”, “stupid”, “a nuisance” because they fall under the weight of their own problems, they can’t “get a grip” with life. Yes I love that that phrase “Get a grip”.

What many people fail to realize is that, one should NEVER attack a person who is down because you just don’t know what that person is going through. Believe it or not a person can be carrying many combinations of problems at one go. Who are YOU to judge what problem is small or big.

In today’s world more and more people are taking on varios activities, courses, lessons so that they can be a well-rounded individual, so that they can be successful in life but I think if not most, all should go for a course(if there is such thing) in being sympathetic and empathetic towards other people. People are darn stupid nowadays, when I say stupid, I mean they are emotionally stupid. They can have all the Phds and degrees in the world but  sorry to say, telling someone who is depress that you can help them because you have a Phd in so or so is not going to help anyone.

They are stupid in relationships and friendships. They do dumb, hurtful, arrogant stuff and don’t even know they are doing it. They offend people, miss the point, have the wrong priorities and miss the face of God in those who are mourning and weeping here on earth totally and I mean totally miss it. But I suppose the most “logical” and “sure” way is to tell those people to “get a grip” in life right? Idiots.

Job said it best in chapter 6, verse 26:

“Do you think your words are convincing when you disregard my cry of desperation?”

Job needed someone to…

  • Cry with him
  • Acknowledge his pain
  • Connect with him at the heart level
  • Grieve with him
  • Help him rebuild his life
  • Comfort him
  • Encourage him
  • Let him talk

Job did not need someone to…

  • Preach at him
  • Criticize him
  • Tell him what to say to God
  • Say silly clichés like: “Get a grip!” (YES MY FAVORITE PHRASE)
  • Accuse Job of being sinful, weak, being a nuisance, etc..

But you know at the end of it..what can I do, so what if I’m sad and down in the dumpsters, so what if I’m at that point of just wanting to break down and cry? I should just freaking……



Everyone if not most people know what I’m talking about, let me give you a scenario: Ever did something very naughty then getting punish by your parents such as being grounded, no games, no ice cream, time-outs or even worse getting hit the Chinese way? I’m sure in one way or another we faced this probably when we were young. I remember mine very clearly and I always say to myself, “My parents don’t love me!”, “This is definitely not love” or something along those lines. But the truth of the matter is they do love me, it would not be love if they didn’t do it, their actions were justified – I failed an exam, was rude, I lied, etc. Similarly with God, whenever we “FEEL” like God doesn’t love us because life isn’t going soo great, we need to look at the facts instead. Yes the torrid times we are facing in life can either be are on doing or it just comes by nevertheless it was willed by God because there is a lesson to learn from it.

What are the facts that God love us? Personally I know God still loves me because

I) The Bible tells me so

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14.27)

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. (John 16.33)

The Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one. (2 Thessalonians 3:3)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5.6-7)

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (Psalms 147:3)

May the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you. (2 Thessalonians 3:16)

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.(John 3:16)


But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

2. The people around me

God did not give you friends, families, siblings for no reason you know. We very often take these people for granted. This is why it is in of utmost importance to find friends who can you trust and rely on, those who will judge you out of love, who will listen, who understands. It is highly unlikely that both of you will go through hardships at the same time but even if that situation arises both of you can support each other. I have stress this many times, you do not have to be a PHD in counseling do be able to be there for someone, the sheer presence or very act to ask “What’s wrong”, “Is there anything I can do?” shows the other person you care for them. Sometimes people need someone to be there for them, sometimes they just don’t want to talk – don’t force them to talk, just be there for them. There is always one thing you can do for them involuntarily or voluntarily, PRAY for them.

The Servant Song by Richard Gillard

We are pilgrims on a journey.
We are brothers on the road.
We are here to help each other
Walk the mile and bear the load.

I will weep when you are weeping.
When you laugh, I’ll laugh with you.
I will share your joy and sorrow
Till we’ve seen this journey through.

3. The Passion of Christ

Need I say more?

Reflection on the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ 

The agony in the garden was really the agony in His mind. He suffered the passion in His mind before He suffered it in His body—to the point of actually affecting the latter by sweating blood. But from then on, it was His bodily suffering that affected His mental suffering.

At the base of all His suffering was the one thing that human beings dread the most: rejection. He was betrayed by Judas, denied by Peter and abandoned by all the rest of His Apostles; those He had hand picked as His closest intimates. He was most rejected by those who put Him to death. They not only wanted Him dead, they wanted Him to suffer. They not only considered Him to be worth nothing, they considered Him to be worth minus nothing! This significance was not lost on Him. He felt fully the rejection as each physical agony reminded Him.

So we thank Him for joining us on our human journey and actually choosing to experience what we fear the most.

We thank Him for enduring the arrest and the cruelty of the guards and the Sanhedrin. We thank Him for enduring the cruelty of Pilate who allowed Him to be executed rather than risk his own political ruin—and for the cruelty of Herod who wanted to be entertained by having Him work a miracle. We thank Him for all the time He spent satisfying their preoccupation with themselves, just delaying His ultimate death. We thank Him for the anxiety of that night in a cell.

The next morning He was brutally scourged with such intensity and violence that He became as an aged man in a matter of minutes. His multiple wounds bloodied His entire body. The loss of so much blood not only severely weakened Him; it also caused a severe, throbbing headache that remained with Him for the duration.

We thank Him for this and for the mockery He received when they put a purple cloth on His shoulders and pushed a crown of thorns down into His head which intensified His headache. They blindfolded Him and slapped Him, insisting that He ‘prophesy’ who had hit Him. They spat on Him and beat Him.

He stood at the praetorium in utter disgrace according to the attitude of the crowd—while in reality, He stood in utter glory: almighty God, being present to every person who has ever suffered rejection, joining them in their moment of pain. It was there that He was sentenced to death by crucifixion. Physically, He was utterly miserable. He revealed to St. Bernard that carrying the cross was His most painful agony. He was so weak, He could hardly walk. Nauseous and thirsty, He found the weight of the cross on His shoulder almost unbearable. It most likely dislocated His shoulder. It is not surprising that He fell down on the stone streets that were filthy with animal dung—with the cross on top of Him. And He got up each time.

It was only with the help of Simon of Cyrene that He made it to the top of Calvary. There they drove the nails into the carpal tunnels of His hands, causing pain throughout His upper body. The nail in His feet registered great pain through all the sensitive nerves there. When the cross was righted, His up-stretched arms squeezed His lungs and He began to pant for lack of oxygen. So He had to push down on His crucified feet to push His body up in order to fill His lungs with air. This took great effort because He was so weak. Yet He managed to maintain such effort for three hours of agony which increased gradually as He became weaker moment by moment.

By the end of the third hour, His agony was at its peak. He had come to the point where His strength simply gave out and He suffocated. In this eternal moment as He died, He gave us His life. Transcending time, this moment of divine love is present to us in the tabernacles of the world.

Thank you, Lord. We adore you O Christ and we praise you. By your holy cross, you have redeemed the world 


Love – A so familiar term yet distorted in today’s world. I’ve touch on what is TRUE love and I suppose this is a follow up to that post in a way. Over the pass few months, I was going through a roller-coaster period with the faith. It was really a tug of war – one point I was refreshed to face the world and the next second filled with despair and hopelessness. But through it all, there’s this particular item that always remained unchanged – God’s unconditional love for me. I’ve said it many many..MANY times, God’s love can truly be found in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

All of us, if we humble ourselves, realize that we are truly useless, evil, envious creatures. WHAT? I hear you say? If you compare yourself to God, you know what I mean. Feel angry towards another person because you think he/she is not giving you equal attention unlike his/her other friends, getting angry/annoyed when someone is driving slow or is dangerously driving, parents are running late to pick you up, teachers are being inconsiderate human beings, refusing to help or say a word of thanks because you’re just plain out lazy/unappreciative and the list goes on and on. And yet He still allows me to walk on this earth, how unworthy am I.

This is how much God loves us despite all out shortcomings ;-

I am the thorn in Your crown – Refusing to to trust in God’s love and peace, anger towards another person

BUT You love me anyway

I am the sweat from Your brow – Refusing to allow God to enter in your life especially through the Sacraments of the Eucharist and Reconciliation, not appreciating mass, not taking the catholic faith seriously, fail to take prayer seriously, leaving mass early, hatred towards another siblings/friends/another human

BUT You love me anyway

I am the nail in Your wrist – Not trusting God’s providence for the future, unable to let go of the past, kept hurts/pains away from God, committing sin daily big or small

BUT You love me anyway

I am Judas’ kiss – Deliberately miss mass, receiving Holy Eucharist in the state of mortal sin, worshipping/loving something/someone else more than God such as grades, boyfriend/girlfriend, popularity, power, backstabbing someone out of jealousy/anger

BUT You love me anyway

“See now, I am the person who yelled out from the crowd
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground
Yes then, I turned away with this smile on my face
With this sin in my heart tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night, I still called out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life”

You see all of us are the crowd on that Holy Thursday, we shout “Crucify him, crucify him, crucify him!!!” by the way we live. We are content with what we have. This especially happens when life is great, good grades, no family/friend problem – we are “happy” but how “happy” is happy? How can one be truly happy without God in the equation? When the storms of life come, it is only then we realize that we need God, we treat God like a Emergency-Go-To which shouldn’t be the way. Life is a journey that should be walked with God on a daily basis. Why?Cause God will always be there, be it the good times and bad times. Let’s just put it this way, think of a horrible period/event in your life right now. Got it? Think of it in detail as if you were going through it again. okey? How did you manage to pull through, you are after all reading this, so somehow you must have gone through it right? Who are you going to give credit to?Yourself?Friends? Have a bad outcome? – You’re still alive aren’t you? What I’m trying to say is count your blessings and give credit to God all the time and everywhere because it is only Him that can make all things possible and use those bad events for something amazing.

Ever doubt God’s love for you? Meditate on the passion every time that happens. Just as we Christ entered into His passion on Holy Thursday, crucified on Friday we relate to Him during our struggles, big or small, He CARES, He wants to KNOW, He wants to HELP, He wants to COMFORT you, He wants to LISTEN to you. But similarly as He rose from dead on that first Easter Sunday rest assure we will rise above our problems.

“It is truly right and just, our duty and our salvation always and everywhere to give you thanks, Lord, holy Father, creator of the world and source of all life.

You never abandon the creatures formed by your wisdom, but remain with us and work for our good even now. With mighty hand and outstretched arm you led your people, Israel, through the desert. By the power of the Holy Spirit you guide your pilgrim Church today as it journeys along the paths of time to the eternal joy of your kingdom, through Christ our Lord.” 

True Love

Posted: April 24, 2012 in Uncategorized

What is “LOVE”?

Let’s be real here, we all think we know what love is. When we “love” someone we think we love them fully, trust me, you and I, yeah we CANNOT love FULLY. Before I go on any further let me tell you what “Love” is NOT

“Now Hollywood wants to make you think they know what love is but I’m tell you what true love is, love is not what you see in the movies. It’s not the ecstasy, its not what you see in that scene” Movies nowadays really in truth insult what true love is. The media influence us to think what true love is. It’s all about the looks or the materials that person have. Even if that is not the main thing, lets be honest those play a huge role whether we want to go for someone or not.

“I’m telling you right now, true love is sacrifice. Love is thinking about others before you think about yourself. Love is selfless not selfish. Love is when you lay down your life for another, whether for your brother, your mother, your father or your sister. It’s even laying down your life for your enemies, that’s unthinkable, but think about that, love is true”

That is the true essence of love, SACRIFICE. Love is not only during the good times, love surface at its most especially in difficult times. I honestly believe you can measure one’s love for you when you are going through a tough time. So that person, that you neglect who always was there for you loves you, it might not be in a boyfriend-girlfriend way but he/she cares about you. Ask yourself, how much do you love that “person” and please don’t give me stupid excuses like “He/she should come to me first” or anything else, I’ve met ALOT of people and they say they don’t want to trouble a person but when someone ask a simple question “are you okey?” it’s more than a question, it’s saying “hey I care about you..I’m worried about you”. In my personal experience, that happened to me. I offered to pray for a girl for any of her needs and she was changed because of that, later she told me “no one every ask if they could pray for me”. It’s powerful, it really is. Even if you don’t have the best advice, I tell you..the very fact that you asked showed that you care and honestly sometimes the presence, ONLY the presence of someone is good enough. it’s good to know someone wants to share even a bit of their pain.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud. Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, you see love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, it always perseveres , love never fails. Love is everlasting, its eternal, it goes on and on, it goes beyond time, love is the only thing that will last when you die but ask the question why? Do you have love?”

Patient, kind, does NOT envy, boast, proud, rude, self seeking, easily angered, keeps no records of wrongs. ALWAYS protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres. Can you do that? All of them? And those I did not list? Absolutely not. So who are you to judge someone if you yourself can’t fulfill all of those? I see many couples, many friendships when something goes wrong usually something similar happens…”LAST TIME YOU……” “YOU DID THAT BEFORE”, we usually pull something from the past and use it against one another. My friend, it just shows that you have not forgiven that person fully which means you lied when you said you did or you just never did.  You’re not perfect like everyone else..so who gave you the right to be angry at someone else’s imperfections. Bishop Cornelius gave an advice for me to deal with anger, “When you realize that other people are broken, hurt sometimes even more than us, we can understand them and not be angry” Very true words.

You see the only person that can give true love is God. Am I saying that love here on earth is fake, not at all. All I’m saying is we all fall short in giving true love and hence we have no rights in being judgmental. We need to learn to forgive, to understand, to SERVE and NOT be served because love nowadays border on “what you can do for me” or “what you make me feel”…you see sometimes love can be found in the small things that people do. If you want to know who really loves you, reflect..when you are going through a tough time, who was with you?, what did they say?, what did they do? It does not mean if a person is there for you they automatically love you, some are just there to make fun of you, to say “only that?!”. The things people do or say is what really matters.

“There is no greater love than this than he who lays down his life for his friends, now are you willing to lay down your life for your friends? You’re probably willing to lay down your life for your mother, your father, or your best friends but are you willing to lay down your life for even those that hate you?”

As we approach Lent, I personally believe we enter into Lent broken, sad, hurt, bothered, lost, confuse, exhausted, misunderstood, scared, and the list can go on and on. But I also believe we enter into Lent being mean to other people with the words we say or didn’t say or as the penitential rites go “through my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done and in what I have failed to do”. I think it’s vital that we acknowledge that we have hurt others just as much as others have hurt us.

Isn’t that what Lent is about, just as everything else, we need maintenance, we need to better ourselves. I can say that Lent is the most practical time of the year in the Liturgical calendar of the church. A successful Lent requires a lot on our part to be honest, outside the requirements of the church which is fasting on Ash Wednesday, Good Friday alongside all other Fridays from meat, we need to do something outside of that. Obviously something not impractical and foolish but at the same time challenging to us.

The thing about this post is, I’m not here to help you create a Lenten program as I’m sure there are many resources on the web to help you with that. I’ll however leave that topic with this, at the very least try to come for daily mass daily and spend time before our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament for at least 30mins, you don’t have to say anything but being in the presence of the one who can ONLY give us true love and true peace is a wonderful thing. I read from somewhere that if you’re not good in being still, other things can be done. Abstracted from Catholic Answers and base on the Mary and Martha situation in which Mary just sat and listened to Jesus whereas Martha were running here and there trying her very best to give Jesus the first class treatment. Some can do what Mary do and just listened and have a conversation with the Lord but there are some people who just can’t and must do a Martha. Fear not! Jesus NEVER condemn Martha for doing what she did, although striving to be like Mary is the aim. Maybe that’s just the way Martha served the Lord. For those who can’t just be still, read scripture before the Lord and meditate on it, find meditations on the readings before going to the Blessed Sacrament and in time and practice, you too can be still and know that HE is God. Furthermore when you are sick you see a doctor, likewise all of us are spiritually sick and thus we need to come to the Physician of Life and ask forgiveness thru the Sacrament of Penance, I THINK it is a requirement to go to confession at least once a year and to receive the body and blood of Christ during Lent/Easter/Holy Week and we CANNOT, I repeat, CANNOT receive communion unless we are clean of sin that is not in the state of grace if you do receive it is a MORTAL SIN and sacrilege.


Back to what I originally planned, I’ve been reflecting with what Bishopsaid awhile back and been reflecting a lot about those people not involve with the church or who don’t go to church altogether. “They have a conversion to Christ but not to the church, His bride” Bishop once said and that struck me because it is true. They go to mass every sunday but you never see them unless it is required such as days of obligations. In simple they are not involve with the church in any ministry. But what even strikes me are those Catholics not taking their faith seriously and it is a serious matter and to a degree when I think of my love ones  and friends, to a point, it scares me that they are not. Take Catholic out of the equation and we still can see many people not taking their faith seriously. Well I’m not here to condemn cause neither am I perfect and sinless but instead I want to see YOU back in the church. Jesus said “I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.(Luke 15:7)”  and it does make me happy really.

Well there is a reason why Jesus left us with His bride, the church and His Spirit, simply because we need it. But who exactly is the church looking for? For all the hurting souls running from their healer, for all the Pharisees, empty on the inside, for all the lovers who spent their love on a lie, for the forgotten, the Father’s heart says come, for all those looking for approval, for those who have never heard being called beautiful before or that they are important and special, come. All of us are tired in one way or another be it physical, mental, emotional or even sometimes spiritual but one of my most favorite verses is “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.(Matthew 11:28)”  I don’t need to say anything more. Please come back.

For those who are already in the church so to say, please pray for the conversion of those who do know His love and peace, for those who have harden their hearts towards Him.


“At the time he was betrayed and entered willingly into his Passion, he took bread and, giving thanks, broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying:


In a similar way, when supper was ended, he took the chalice and, once more giving thanks, he gave it to his disciples, saying:



The Grace and Peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you †

I’m exhausted full stop. I come to the point when I just don’t want to do anything other than what I want to do. No one knows what I’m going through or rather people don’t even want to bother as well they have their own life to attend to. The words people say sometimes it stings do the core, sometimes it’s the things that people don’t do that hurts the most, saying “hi”, asking “how are you?” or just being there.

Driving home late one night, those were the things going through my mind. Have you ever been tired that you were just too tired to even sleep?Well I have. I didn’t want to drive back home, even though I had to obviously. I just didn’t want to do anything, it’s too much to bear. I keep coming back to the word “rejection”, I don’t feel love..I mean not the family/friend kind of love but if I’m being honest a girlfriend love would be nice. But anyway I didn’t want to drive back home, it’s not so much physical tiredness but more of emotional and mental tiredness and well that’s when I just said “Jesus take the wheel”, if you are familiar with those words then well like me it’s from Carrie Underwood’s version of the song. Not literally, but it has a deeper meaning I suppose, take control of my life, I can’t do this anymore, there’s no direction, no peace, no love. Or rather  no TRUE and LASTING love and peace.

The temptation for me at least is the temptation to settle for less. I want earthly love and peace but I know very well those are conditional love. I’ve been reflection on St.Francis prayer and well the more I think about it, the more I go “how the heck am I suppose to do that?!” but it is a challenge.

Lord, make me a channel of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

I’ve been particularly reflecting on the second part of the prayer cause honestly for me it works the other way around, i want to be console as to console, to be understood as to understand and to be love as to loved. Well sadly being a Catholic, it doesn’t work that way because well the answer is there ” For it is in GIVING that we RECEIVE, in PARDONING that we are PARDONED and it is in DYING TO ONSELF that we are born to eternal life. The question now is how do I do that? Pray is one thing.

As Lent approaches in 15 days, it’s going to be a war on a personal basis, Mother Teresa of Calcutta once said ” God doesn’t require us to succeed; he only requires to try”, in other words do your best and leave the rest to God because God will never send us where His grace cannot sustain us. I mean God was crucified for me, the very least I could do is try and when I fail, I know God still loves me which brings such comfort to me knowing that even though I’m a sinner He still loves me. Why so? I know that even though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, that is feeling unloved, not special, unappreciated, exhausted, rejected..I know He is walking with me through it all, in my head, I picture Jesus infront of me, seeing if everything is safe, saying to me “shouldn’t be a problem for you” cause that’s life, you will always face trouble in one way or another but the great thing is He will never, you guess it, He will never send you where His grace cannot sustain you but even if you do fail, He has your back.

We should never take God for granted. I see successful people, smart students, rich students but they feel so empty, feel so unfulfilled..why? I personally think it’s because they don’t have Jesus. Power, pleasure, profit…won’t get you very far. This Lenten season, do pray for t


And that’s the thing with prayer ain’t it? It’s sooo simple and that’s the problem with it. I personally struggle with prayer countless times, when I think I’m doing fine with my prayer life it begins to deteriorate. So judging from past experiences when you think you’re doing fine in your prayer life think again. When I was young I find no comfort when someone  told me “God always answer your prayer,most of the time with a “no” though” and till this day I laugh every time I recall that hahaha

Even though it gives no comfort at that moment, it is true though looking back. God says “no” because He has something better for us and I think that should always be our focal point, MY focal point(yes I’m reminding myself especially!) Prayer doesn’t change God, it change us, God’s will does not conform to ours but rather our will conforms to His!(REMEMBER THAT ALISTER)

One think I always realize is God rarely(well in my life) tells me why He said no immediately, He doesn’t say “No I won’t grant you that because of…THIS(in the background huge fireworks and bright shining light blinding my eyes as I try to see what hidden majestic thing or person lies behind all of that)” Well yeah God doesn’t do that, He can but no. Most of the time we have to wait before we can see why God did what He did.

Some of you are in your mourning booth(I know I am, I mean common it’s 3.04am and I have school in what 3 hours?hahaha) but take courage.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4