Posts Tagged ‘god’

Love – A so familiar term yet distorted in today’s world. I’ve touch on what is TRUE love and I suppose this is a follow up to that post in a way. Over the pass few months, I was going through a roller-coaster period with the faith. It was really a tug of war – one point I was refreshed to face the world and the next second filled with despair and hopelessness. But through it all, there’s this particular item that always remained unchanged – God’s unconditional love for me. I’ve said it many many..MANY times, God’s love can truly be found in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

All of us, if we humble ourselves, realize that we are truly useless, evil, envious creatures. WHAT? I hear you say? If you compare yourself to God, you know what I mean. Feel angry towards another person because you think he/she is not giving you equal attention unlike his/her other friends, getting angry/annoyed when someone is driving slow or is dangerously driving, parents are running late to pick you up, teachers are being inconsiderate human beings, refusing to help or say a word of thanks because you’re just plain out lazy/unappreciative and the list goes on and on. And yet He still allows me to walk on this earth, how unworthy am I.

This is how much God loves us despite all out shortcomings ;-

I am the thorn in Your crown – Refusing to to trust in God’s love and peace, anger towards another person

BUT You love me anyway

I am the sweat from Your brow – Refusing to allow God to enter in your life especially through the Sacraments of the Eucharist and Reconciliation, not appreciating mass, not taking the catholic faith seriously, fail to take prayer seriously, leaving mass early, hatred towards another siblings/friends/another human

BUT You love me anyway

I am the nail in Your wrist – Not trusting God’s providence for the future, unable to let go of the past, kept hurts/pains away from God, committing sin daily big or small

BUT You love me anyway

I am Judas’ kiss – Deliberately miss mass, receiving Holy Eucharist in the state of mortal sin, worshipping/loving something/someone else more than God such as grades, boyfriend/girlfriend, popularity, power, backstabbing someone out of jealousy/anger

BUT You love me anyway

“See now, I am the person who yelled out from the crowd
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground
Yes then, I turned away with this smile on my face
With this sin in my heart tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night, I still called out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life”

You see all of us are the crowd on that Holy Thursday, we shout “Crucify him, crucify him, crucify him!!!” by the way we live. We are content with what we have. This especially happens when life is great, good grades, no family/friend problem – we are “happy” but how “happy” is happy? How can one be truly happy without God in the equation? When the storms of life come, it is only then we realize that we need God, we treat God like a Emergency-Go-To which shouldn’t be the way. Life is a journey that should be walked with God on a daily basis. Why?Cause God will always be there, be it the good times and bad times. Let’s just put it this way, think of a horrible period/event in your life right now. Got it? Think of it in detail as if you were going through it again. okey? How did you manage to pull through, you are after all reading this, so somehow you must have gone through it right? Who are you going to give credit to?Yourself?Friends? Have a bad outcome? – You’re still alive aren’t you? What I’m trying to say is count your blessings and give credit to God all the time and everywhere because it is only Him that can make all things possible and use those bad events for something amazing.

Ever doubt God’s love for you? Meditate on the passion every time that happens. Just as we Christ entered into His passion on Holy Thursday, crucified on Friday we relate to Him during our struggles, big or small, He CARES, He wants to KNOW, He wants to HELP, He wants to COMFORT you, He wants to LISTEN to you. But similarly as He rose from dead on that first Easter Sunday rest assure we will rise above our problems.

“It is truly right and just, our duty and our salvation always and everywhere to give you thanks, Lord, holy Father, creator of the world and source of all life.

You never abandon the creatures formed by your wisdom, but remain with us and work for our good even now. With mighty hand and outstretched arm you led your people, Israel, through the desert. By the power of the Holy Spirit you guide your pilgrim Church today as it journeys along the paths of time to the eternal joy of your kingdom, through Christ our Lord.” 

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I’m exhausted full stop. I come to the point when I just don’t want to do anything other than what I want to do. No one knows what I’m going through or rather people don’t even want to bother as well they have their own life to attend to. The words people say sometimes it stings do the core, sometimes it’s the things that people don’t do that hurts the most, saying “hi”, asking “how are you?” or just being there.

Driving home late one night, those were the things going through my mind. Have you ever been tired that you were just too tired to even sleep?Well I have. I didn’t want to drive back home, even though I had to obviously. I just didn’t want to do anything, it’s too much to bear. I keep coming back to the word “rejection”, I don’t feel love..I mean not the family/friend kind of love but if I’m being honest a girlfriend love would be nice. But anyway I didn’t want to drive back home, it’s not so much physical tiredness but more of emotional and mental tiredness and well that’s when I just said “Jesus take the wheel”, if you are familiar with those words then well like me it’s from Carrie Underwood’s version of the song. Not literally, but it has a deeper meaning I suppose, take control of my life, I can’t do this anymore, there’s no direction, no peace, no love. Or rather  no TRUE and LASTING love and peace.

The temptation for me at least is the temptation to settle for less. I want earthly love and peace but I know very well those are conditional love. I’ve been reflection on St.Francis prayer and well the more I think about it, the more I go “how the heck am I suppose to do that?!” but it is a challenge.

Lord, make me a channel of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

I’ve been particularly reflecting on the second part of the prayer cause honestly for me it works the other way around, i want to be console as to console, to be understood as to understand and to be love as to loved. Well sadly being a Catholic, it doesn’t work that way because well the answer is there ” For it is in GIVING that we RECEIVE, in PARDONING that we are PARDONED and it is in DYING TO ONSELF that we are born to eternal life. The question now is how do I do that? Pray is one thing.

As Lent approaches in 15 days, it’s going to be a war on a personal basis, Mother Teresa of Calcutta once said ” God doesn’t require us to succeed; he only requires to try”, in other words do your best and leave the rest to God because God will never send us where His grace cannot sustain us. I mean God was crucified for me, the very least I could do is try and when I fail, I know God still loves me which brings such comfort to me knowing that even though I’m a sinner He still loves me. Why so? I know that even though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, that is feeling unloved, not special, unappreciated, exhausted, rejected..I know He is walking with me through it all, in my head, I picture Jesus infront of me, seeing if everything is safe, saying to me “shouldn’t be a problem for you” cause that’s life, you will always face trouble in one way or another but the great thing is He will never, you guess it, He will never send you where His grace cannot sustain you but even if you do fail, He has your back.

We should never take God for granted. I see successful people, smart students, rich students but they feel so empty, feel so unfulfilled..why? I personally think it’s because they don’t have Jesus. Power, pleasure, profit…won’t get you very far. This Lenten season, do pray for t